


For you to say it all again

by Neuqe



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Established Relationship, Fix-It, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other characters get mentioned, Spoilers, takes place during tros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:46:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21977548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neuqe/pseuds/Neuqe
Summary: Finn apologizes for the fight“You’re not Leia,” he says, gently, “but that’s okay because you’re Poe. And that's more than enough for me and the whole resistance.”
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 37
Kudos: 356





	For you to say it all again

**Author's Note:**

> Am I ever gonna forgive for what they did to Poe's backstory in tros? Not likely.

Finn leaves Chewie, Jannah and few members of her team to do non-essential repairs to the cargo room of the Falcon as he heads to the cockpit.

They just departed from the Death Star ruins, but it will probably take at least a few hours before they manage to reach the base.

Finn had been grateful when he had heard the familiar noise of Falcon’s engines as he had watched Rey leaving with the other ship without any acknowledgement to their presence. He knows, logically, that Rey must have had her reasons and he just hopes she is alright and safe, but it still hurt to realise that she just left them there.

Finn stops at the threshold of the cockpit and grabs the doorframe of it. He hates fighting with Poe. It’s a rare occurrence, because usually they don’t even argue. Sure, they bicker all the time, but it has no real heat behind it.

Most of the time they are in sync and on the same page about things, small and big, essential and less important. The fact that Chewie cheats at chess and general strategy. The importance of their missions and what sort of food they prefer. They usually take each other’s sides, protect and defend each other, and in a middle of a battle they don’t always even need words to communicate. So, when they are on a collision course, they crash, and they crash hard.

Fighting is different, especially when they have grown a lot closer and he knows he hurt him. Hurting him isn’t something he would ever like to do, he would protect him with his own life, and he knows he would do the same for him, but words and feelings are more complicated.

Words, especially hurtful ones, are so quick to say and impossible to take back.

He knows all couples fight sometimes, but it still feels bad. Especially when they are in a middle of a kriffing war and anything could happen. They are on a same side and they shouldn’t be drawing battle lines between them.

He looks at Poe, who sits at the pilot’s seat. His eyes are fixed on the window of the Falcon and the endless space. There is no need for evasive manoeuvre or anything, for once no one is chasing them. There ae only the emptiness, vastness and serenity of the space. Yet, he rests his hands on the controllers. He is slouching on the chair little, but he doesn’t look relaxed. He looks tense and exhausted, and somehow small, even though he is the best pilot in the galaxy and flying a legendary ship.

Finn knows that he has noticed him standing there, almost right behind him, but he is still angry, rightly so.

“Hey,” he says softly and carefully, as he sits down to the chair next to him.

He nods as an acknowledgement, but he remains silent.

Finn takes a deep breath and tries to figure out how he wants to apologize. Choose all the right words and make sure he really knows how sorry he is. He hasn’t ever been too good with words, he guesses it can be forgiven considering circumstances, but he wants to be good at it when it matters. When it comes to him.

Poe, however, is quicker. “You okay?”

He says it quickly, only glancing at him from the corner of his eye, and he presses his lips together tightly. Still, it makes a wave of warmth spread in Finn’s chest. It’s nice to know that he cares and worries about him even when he is upset with him, but then again, it’s Poe. He cares about everyone, even people he has never met.

Also, he wouldn’t need to be Force sensitive to feel the love between them. He cannot see it, but it still feels tangible somehow. Solid. Strong.

“Yeah, just damp,” he replies, touching his hair absentmindedly, “you?”

He gives him only a half shrug.

It makes tiny cracks into his heart. “Listen, I’m sorry what I said back there. It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t even about you. I was frustrated and I took it out on you, which is the last thing I should have done.”

He knows it isn’t the most eloquent apology in history, but he hopes it gets the message across.

No one ever tells about the ugly side of love, the unfair arsenal, that stems from knowing one thoroughly and well, knowing all the things would hurt them the most.

He is perfectly aware that Leia and living up to reputation are soft spots for him.

The tension in his jaw eases a bit, but he still refuses to look at him. “I guess I deserved it.”

He shakes his head furiously. “No. No, you didn’t,” he insists, and he puts one of his hands on top of his, on the controllers. He lets it rest there, with almost feather-light touch. “You’re not Leia,” he says, gently, “but that’s okay because you’re Poe. And that’s more than enough for me and the whole resistance.”

A smallest of smiles appears on his lips. He pushes his hand upwards, making the touch not to be light anymore. The warmth of the back of his hand radiates to his palm. Finn, slowly but gracefully moves his hand, intertwines their fingers and actually holds his hand.

He finally looks at him. There is certain sadness in the way he looks at him, but mostly his eyes are gleaming with fondness. “You think so?”

“I know so,” he replies immediately, lifting his hand up and bringing it against his lips. He presses a kiss to his knuckles. “I hope you can forgive me?”

The smile turns into a lopsided half-grin. “Yeah, yeah, I already did.”

He knows the apology won’t immediately undone the hurt he caused, but he is willing try to make it right. Proving that he completely believes in Poe isn’t exactly the most difficult thing to do, because he already does. He just wants to show it to him.

“You know, I didn’t want to leave her there--,” Poe starts, but his voice fades a little, as if he was unsure of what to say.

“I know, different approaches to same thing.”

He just hums as a response.

“And I know she is more than capable of taking care of herself, but I just don’t think I could live with myself if something happened to her, or you, knowing I could’ve done something to stop it but I didn’t,” he admits.

He knows it is a bit ridiculous. The war is going on and there is no way of telling what will happen, but he loves his founded family. He just wants to keep them safe and unhurt, and the last thing he wants is to lose them for good.

Poe’s face softens a little. “I know the feeling.”

Finn’s heart feels as if it could burst. “I love you,” he says, squeezing his hand, “you know that?”

“Yeah, I do,” he says, reaching across the space between their chairs and kisses his temple. “I love you, too.”

They smile at each other, and Finn thinks everything feels normal again, between them. He feels more at ease, as if everything had shifted back to their rightful places in the galaxy.

He breaks the silence after a moment. “So, a spice smuggler?”

Poe lets go of his hand and drags them along his face as he groans. “That was just a cover.”

“I figured,” he replies easily, but Poe looks slightly perplexed as he blinks at him. “It just didn’t fit into anything you had previously told me. About your parents and the resistance. It didn’t fit into the picture of you,” he clarifies.

Finn has heard countless stories about his mother, Shara, the best pilot in the galaxy and his father, a resistance hero as well, and the stories of them, Luke, Leia and Han. Finn loves those stories. Poe is mostly happy when he tells them, and it is clear how much he loved his parents and how much they loved him. Finn knows Poe wants to end war for them too, as much as he wants to save the galaxy, too.

“Thanks for going along with it,” he says, gratefully.

“I thought you must have had your reasons for it,” he says. The fact that he would follow him and his lead to almost anywhere goes unsaid, because he knows he knows it, too.

Poe nods before he runs his hand through his own curly hair. “It’s fine, really. All of this,” he does a vague hand gesture between them, as if he could also sense how upset he was about the fight.

“Yeah, but it would be also fine if it wasn’t fine,” he replies, eloquently, once again.

“Sure.”

“Do you mind if I stay here?”

He is aware how much he loves flying, and how ship’s, almost any ship’s cockpit, is his happy place and every time he is there with him, he feels as if he was in a sacred place, and he doesn’t want to interrupt any of that.

He rarely kicks him out of there, though.

“Of course not.”

He stays and the silence falls between them until Poe starts to talk about strategy, ship’s repairs and what they should do next. He shares ideas of how to find Rey.

When they stay silent again, just enjoying the moment of peace and companionship, Finn nudges his shin with his foot.

“So were the bad flirting skills part of the cover too or should I just be embarrassed that it apparently worked on me too?” He deadpans.

Poe bites the inside of his cheek and glances at him curiously. “You heard that?”

Now, he seems almost embarrassed.

“Yeah.”

Finn expected to feel more jealous after he heard him talking about kissing Zorii, but surprisingly he didn’t. He guesses it’s because he knows Poe and he trusts him, and also because he didn’t sound serious about it.

“When I first arrived in Kijimi I didn’t have a lot of time to complete my mission,” he starts, “and I was young. I needed to get to the inside circles of smuggling quick and I thought flirting my way through would be the easiest way.” He grins. “It turned out that Zorii wasn’t exactly into men and we became friends, but it stayed as way too elaborate inside joke.”

Finn nods as he listens to him.

“And my flirting is just fine, and you know it,” Poe, suddenly deadpans, but it is clear as day he is trying his best not to smile.

“Oh, is that why I didn’t even notice I was the receiving end of it for like a year?”

“That’s not my fault,” he laughs, “in any way.”

“Obviously,” he says, trying to pretend to be serious, but his grin is just widening.

In hindsight, all of their communication attempts that went beyond friendship were initially disastrous. It was a mess, clumsy and just slightly awkward, but it still felt right even though they messed up their words and relied too heavily on implying things, rather than saying them out loud.

Poe snorts, as he obviously is trying to hold back laughter, but it is a losing battle. His laugh is warm, and it fills up the small cockpit. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“No,” he agrees, “it wasn’t.”

He relaxes into his seat and lets him search for the familiar feeling and he finds it quickly. It’s comforting to sense it. Still as strong and solid as before.

**Author's Note:**

> What was the point of the fight? Why it was never addressed again? Who knows. The title is from a song called saturn by sleeping at last and all the mistakes are mine.


End file.
